?

Log in

No account? Create an account
New Journal   
06:31am 16/08/2006
  sicilian_spice  
     
fat skunk
 
Today's my big Birthday...!!!   
03:41pm 06/08/2006
  Party later...

I'll fill you in tomorrow.
 
     
 
   
09:05pm 03/07/2006
  I am really finding trouble how some girls perceive things over the internet. I like to think of myself as a very attractive and comfortable younger woman, even though I am just 15. I don’t like to post pictures over the internet because I basically don’t feel safe doing so all the time because you never know who is watching, or where.

I basically told this girl who I saw post a lot of hard core information, including her age, her address, where her mother works, the name of her school (her mother works at her school), and three or five more exclusive photographs of her face, including more than three different frontal sides and hair styles incorporating some without spectacles and there was some with spectacles, and her boobs, over on myspace. I had that girl on my friends thingy for over a year now, she posted the myspace address on my friendslist, which was in her journal obviously, and I commented to her on AOL, telling her that I didn’t feel it was safe to be exposing all of that detailed information including "your" face pics, given all of what we see is going on now with pedophilers and the bunch taking advantage of younger to vulnerable females. We got to be careful, and she’s also my age, so I felt the need appropriate to disclose that...

She didn’t respond, I’m guessing for the reason that she was away or something, or she was busy (?), or she was basically ignoring me for what I enunciated, cause I think she’s considerably “narrow-minded” like that. All I know, I’m not trying to sound conceited here when I mention all this. I’ve met a guy over the internet before when I was 13, and we had sex, and I’m not proud of that because if I could do things over, I’d do it over in a heart beat. Even now (a good 2 and a half years after that), I have still ended up regretting it, so many complications came from that one big encounter which highrocketted into my life for a free-living couple of months. I can’t even discourse with you about that over livejournal. But I truly know how much the internet can make a person feel good, and lovely about themselves, and how just talking to a person online can make you feel so on top of the world that you tend to lose yourself, your thoughts, your practicality, and your understanding of what is truly real and what is not...

I don’t know if that’s the reason why she took me off her friends list, but she isn’t there anymore, and I felt the need to mention it. Be careful when you’re online (as am I supposed to be careful too) I like how many of us post entries that are in private, but you can’t trust essentially anyone.

Basically my message for only today...
 
     
fat skunk
 
Haha, Jared...   
04:36pm 18/06/2006
  Me: What do you want?
Jared: I can’t find my watch.
Me: And that concerns me, how?
Jared: I just kinda figured you had it because you’re the last person I had in my dorm room last week.
Me: So?
Jared: So I figured you had my watch.
Me: Then keep on figuring that then, cause I don’t have it.
Jared: You sure?
Me: Of course I’m fucking sure, do you want to strip search me and locate it?
Jared: Hehe, well...
Me: Well what Jared?
Jared: Hahaha, see, this is why we broke up. I can’t talk to you. You act like a kid. You ARE a kid.
Me: We broke up 3 weeks ago and you had the blazing audacity to call me up on this beautiful, splendid saturday afternoon, to know if I stole your watch?
Jared: You aren’t the only person I asked Megan, stop acting ballistic.
Me: I ought to go over to UCLA right now and kick your ass, you son of a bitch. How dare you?!

Hang up.

Can you believe it?

=\
 
     
10 fat skunk
 
In Boston   
08:41pm 02/06/2006
  Jiselle: I want to have sex with you.
Me: I want to make pasta and catfish salad beside your coils.

Hahaha, for some reason I found that a little funny.

I heard he was asking for me today.

WTF?
 
     
fat skunk
 
   
10:51am 24/05/2006
  Hahahaha, this letter from Tim, some months ago...


Love,what is love?!love can be many things,affection for sum1,a sport,a hobbie....
And the girl that i loved to pieces,had to lose faith and trust in me,and didnt even believe me with what i said...That is just CUNT!
I took out hours of my game just to chat to her(guess why,possibly love...)and i took out even more time out of my breakfasts,showers,just to chat to her before i left for school,is that POSSIBLY love?!
Wait...i got the answer!
I LOVED YOU TO DEATH! JUST UNTIL YOU DIDNT TRUST ME!
Trust is all i was hoping for...and i seem to either have lost it,or just didnt have it...
I wont even consider my own death right now...bcoz i know i have a reason on earth...thats to be successful,and nothing will stop me!
I will always be hurt by ur reactions and the untrustworthy-ness between us...
Just the thought of u ,makes tears run down my face...But enjoy ur life and death,as this is all u really care bout,UR OWN LIFE!
Whatever...Im sick of havin to be sum1 else in order for u to understand me,i am always myself,and that includes being a NON-RACIST!
Hope u read this all,as at the end,we might never chat again...Tim


Haha, he is such a little drama queen, this wasn't even how it went...
 
     
4 fat skunk
 
   
04:07am 23/05/2006
  Read more...Collapse )

The car I'm thinking of buying.
 
     
2 fat skunk
 
My Email to Shavaine Bignall Today   
11:29pm 16/03/2006
 
mood: angry
I really don’t understand why you’re being such a bitch to me. I don’t know if it’s because you’re bipolar, you’re just super ultra sensitive/moody, or you just like being this way, just to come off as a bitch. I don’t know why. But all I know is I want you to stay the fuck away from me and my closest friends.

I have done you nothing for you to get upset over. All I’ve said was that maybe you need to leave Veronica alone since you don’t know how it feels to be fucking abandoned and pregnant, hence you got no room to judge. I got raped had nothing to do with the subject/matter or whatever else you were saying about me to Neicie. You’re just a stupid egocentric bitch and I don’t give a fuck if you tell Brad the thing I said about him while we were in PC. I don’t give a flying fuck you hear that bitch? I told him what I had to say already. I’m not afraid of him. He doesn’t have horns. I’m not afraid of anybody, let alone you for that matter, you stupid bitch, so you can suck that into a balloon for all I care. I don’t care what you want to say PERIOD.

Fucking cunt.

I’m going to call her right now...
 
     
fat skunk
 
   
10:45pm 09/03/2006
  I got appointed to Captain of the volley ball team last week. You can eat that in your shoe Daphne Soboria =P. I can’t believe I did that, well I can, but I just can’t believe it’s finally here. I mean... I never thought I’d see captain written across my shirt ever again. lol

Anyways, I hadn’t updated this thing in a while, so I thought, I decided tonight I’d give it an attempt. My life is so fucked up right now which is the customary. What’s even more fucked up is that currently I’m contemplating that I have fallen inlove with someone, and it’s inlove with a guy I idolise very much, but it’s a guy whom I have met over the internet. We’re tackling out this whole “online dating” thing with a needle, but I don’t think it’s working out so conventionally. I’m thinking of dumping him sometime--maybe today, tomorrow. Whenever we see each other online again. On Saturday... I mean, I genuinely love him and I think of him every day, but it’s just that we never get to see each other anymore. We hooked up in the christmas and all we ever seem to do is cyber (which is “our” little substitution for sex) so I don’t think that’s working out so well, and I masturbated for the first time with him in December, so yeah.. you know? I’ve been trying out a lot of new things since I met Tim. He’s soo horny, yet so cute, and he treats me like a princess, even though he stinks at cybering. I usually would cum off of his pics, but yeah, you didn’t need to know that so just strike that remark.

Anyways he’s a little pissed at me right now. I slept with Lavery one month ago, and he still considers that as cheating even though I told him to go fuck some one else when his sexual urges were in a limbo. You see, I’m a girl who likes to have sex every so often, twice per week. Maybe even more than twice per week. Every day, if I can help it. But Tim’s a virgin, so he doesn’t understand that, and when I say I need sex really bad, he gets pissed off at me and then gets depressed, then I get depressed, and frustrated, and I start to scream off at him like why in the fuck are you behaving like that, you know? Like such an unstable, unfeeling, uncaring little asshole. Then I heard Mandy was asking him questions about what he would do if he found out his girl had cheated on him, I’m like, why in the fuck is she asking that, and we’re not friends anymore, and I was pissed about that.

Anyways, two of my friends are pissed at me right now.. cause they think I stole their weed and sold it, even though I didn’t and if I did, so the fuck what? Not like they could do anything about it anyways. And Leesa and I aren’t talking, because she thought I slept with her half brother. Why is it that when something goes wrong with your boyfriend, everybody automatically assumes that you’re sleeping with them? That’s a really fucked up thing to say to someone, especially when you call that someone your friend. Everyone must consider me a whore or something, they have not said it in so many words, or in dialogue, but it’s the truth. Even my family thinks I’m a whore and they don’t feel like denying it.

But question this: What makes someone, some girl, a whore? Is it liking the opposite sex too much, or the same? Is it thinking of ways of how to enjoy yourself in bed even if it doesn’t include your boyfriend or your best friend, or whom ever...
What I want to know is why is everyone thinking that I’m a slut when I don’t even sleep around with everyone that I know?

Does wanting a threesome with your mother make you out to be, a slut? I mean, fuck, I’m really confused about this. I need answers. :S
 
     
fat skunk
 
   
09:39pm 03/01/2006
  It’s a new year people, and it’s a start to be making some changes in my life. I always said I was going to be a better person when the new year approaches or it arrives, but then I always forget somehow in the middle of it, and I’m back to my old self being bad again and/or rebellious. I don’t know, I don’t enjoy being a rebellious teenager. As I was telling somebody online earlier yesterday, I just enjoy being my own person, doing things by myself, enjoying life to it’s fullest, going places on my own, doing the things that I want to do. That sort of thing. I like to be just myself, if you know what I mean. I delight thinking of myself as a free independent person, even though technically, I am not. My aunt's still taking care of me.

Anyways, I must say, celebrating the new year was fabulous.

I didn’t go to many places like I did last year in New York and Boston. My uncle was tempted again with that nonsense of us travelling our way to New Jersey or to Connecticut just to visit some friends (not even my friends, mind you, but his) and then we’d go to Times Square in the morning and celebrate New Years there. But I told him adamantly that I did not want to go. I’m a big girl now, and if I was going to Times Square for a third time in a row, then I’d like to go there with my boyfriend or some guy of the sorts so when the ball drops 12 I’d have a guy there for me to kiss. Instead of watching them kissing over and over again and thinking about the boyfriend or the guy I had left there back at home in Santa Monica.

Anyways, I went partying at about 11:45 (even though I was not supposed to go) it was at this chicks party at the other side of town, and my aunt said I wasn’t supposed to go even though I asked my big uncle and he said no “I should just listen to my aunt.” I still allowed the guy to come pick me up at the side of Raymond’s house around the corner, then I snuck out and went to the party afterwards. It was fun. I had so much beer and crap and I got to see all of my friends there. We danced, and then when the clock struck twelve, we went out for a lil drive at first and then we went over to his house or his apartment. It was so cool. Hes got about 12 stereos there, and his bed is a waterbed, so cool. I guess I’m hick, so that surprises me. Then we made out for a while before we talked and then he fixed me something to eat, I was drunk, and we watched tv, and then we had some sex. I slept over his house until 10 in the morning, and I had no idea where I was until he told me.

You can imagine the surprise I had when I realised that I woke up not home and my aunt might rat me out, and I’d be grounded, cause she was bound to go check my room. She always does for some reason or another. Shes annoying like that and when I came in that morning I walked around the front yard so she’d think I had just spent the whole night at Allison instead of sneaking in through the side window and peaking in. But they didn’t believe me. They kept asking where I was where I was and I told them. I recited to them that I had just lost track of time at Allison’s and it would not/never happen to me again. Right? She didn’t believe and said I was stunk of beer and weed, and that I was grounded for some reason unbeknownst to me because I was late. Then I heard Jonathan telling them I was fucked up, cause he loves to see me down or something. So yeah, I told him to go have a fucking heart attack and get a fucking life. He’s such a dipshit to me. I just can’t stand him. He’s such a hypocrite. He does more shit that I can ever do and my aunt just thinks hes an angel.

Fucking dipshit..

So I’m grounded. Again. For sneaking out. Like that's a life-failing subject. Life just sucks.
 
     
fat skunk
 
   
09:43pm 04/12/2005
  I’m contemplating joining the army, I don’t know yet. It’s just a consideration. I’ve been meditating on it for quite a while now but I wasn’t too sure I wanted to bank on it before I gave it proper provision and ground thought. Becoming apart of the U.S army or the marine corps or whatever they call it or the national navy (cause I want to fly planes) is a big decision to synthesise or to develop. Hey I’ll acknowledge, I don’t comprehend jack shit about serving in the service or doing what I’m supposed to do there if I’m deployed or exported there to do some mumbo jumbo I don’t/won’t have a clue about, but what am I supposed to do here? I know I claimed I was going to attend Harvard and execute my law degree and foreign policies and/or political science and all that rot and nonsense but I’m thinking what-if any of those plans toils out? What if any of those prearrangements don’t pan out into anything fruitful or conducive? I need a plan B. My aunt might not bestow sufficent funds for my school/tuition fee to enroll with Harvard or any other institutition that I might have a chance of furthering my education or bettering my life futuristically because she’s already started a new family of her own with her beloved most-esteemed husband, Matt. My dad/pop and I aren’t talking anymore, and even if we WERE corresponding, he’d still not be capable of funding me financial assistance with going to school or college in the near to distant future. He’s never been able to fund me financial assistance with going to school where my educational priorites were his concern. They never were... and my maa is just as bad where my life pertained to those.

She could give a shit less if I went to school at Harvard, attempt my law degree or my masters, and come out to something influential in this entire messed up nucleus and not become a parasite or an invalid to anybody else but myself... or if I didn’t attempt to go to school, get knocked up, become a walking prostitute on the streets of harlem or if I became a drug addict and all I did was smoke weed and sniff cocaine. She wouldn’t care less than a total stranger on the street would give a shit about me. I’ve got to look out for myself.

(Note to self) I’ve got to learn more about the U.S defense force and their hierachies before I join or become a vital part of their team. But I really also want to get acquainted with the government’s defence force especially for the reason that I might be a politician some day or run for president some day who knows, I wanna have something on my resume/application over all that I did do something for my country before I ever became so and so dignitary or so and so that. You know? Anyways I’ve been thinking about it crucially and I haven’t figured out exactly what to do as yet. Want to help?

Anyhow I’ve been creaming on this picture ever since I got online and I haven’t figured out how to take my eyes off of it. Isn’t that guy a hunk or what?

http://www.welikesheep.com/archives/jeremy.jpg
 
     
1 fat skunk
 
   
09:31am 27/11/2005
  You know it's really funny how much alike me and my father are. We don't luxuriate in expressing our emotions with tears or a full blown explanation or a detailed revelation that would convert into mushiness or hugging or crying into the finale. We like to implode our emotions beyond our external bodies and keep it there until somebody does something autonominous to us and we snap and we'd fight and make a big deal about it because we're hurt and we wanna get it out through our systems. I don't verifiably care what my father wants to say about me, I know he doesn't really like me right now and frankly that is his own fault for lying to his daughter and his common law wife all these years for cheating and keeping his other subterranean life a secret and not opening up to us about those things while WE were still struggling for him. I'm still hurt about those things, I just don't feel it was fair for us to go through all that on behalf of him. We lost our families because of him. I lost my virginity (if you could call it that) because of him. I lost my childhood, all my happiness, all my innocence, all my sense of belonging, all my sense of feeling and caring, because of him. So I think he owes me that apology. I won't be seeking penance from him for the things I said earlier on the phone the other day and he got angry. I just snapped, and I said what I had to say, no harm done. Big deal... get the fuck over it. Right now I called him a little while ago and he goes like, what the fuck do you want? I'm like, nothing asshole, I just wanted to wish you a happy belated thanks giving. And he's like, fuck you... I mean whaa... And then he hung up. He's such a dick head I can't believe we're actually related, we act nothing alike in that aspect and the way he treats me is like I messed up his life. I know he has said it before that if I wasn't been born in the first place he wouldn't have been such a screwed up prick all along through out the years and his life would have been exquisite and marvellous if he didn't have a daughter to take care of but he can't blame that on me. Berate maa and himself for not using a fucking contraceptive at the party that maa conceived me at. Haha, sounds weird for me to be saying all that being the child doesn't it, but it's the truth. I'm only saying it because that's how it is. That wasn't my fault. He says I'm a screw up and I'm a whore? Then I'm a whore and I'm a screw up because of him.  
     
fat skunk
 
   
03:01pm 26/11/2005
  Well you know Thanksgiving day wasn't that spectacular to me or great like the usual (check my archives, I think). All we ended up doing was eat and chat, eat and chat, and then Grant just said to me out of the bloom, Megan why don't we just go upstairs and play some cards? So we did and cards ended up being boring and we started talking about something else. And then soon after that for some incongruent reason we started kissing. And he was fondling my breasts and all that when Aunt Emily walked in and caught us in the act and then called Matt's sister/Grant's mom and they both told us to get up and fix ourselves up and we did. I went in a room and my Aunt just had to have followed me there, she's like, Megan what the hell were you thinking kissing Grant, he's your cousin. I'm like no he's not, he's not even my relative. She's like, he is, and he's apart of this family since he's Jonathan's cousin and Matt's oldest nephew, what the devil were you thinking kissing him? I have hormones, I replied. She's like, you're just sick, and demented, and you're grounded, from everything, except for school for a week. I'm like, Fuck Off. She's like, make that two weeks and she slammed the door. I didn't come down for the rest of the evening, I heard her muttering to Carrie (that's Grant's mom) I'm so sorry, I feel so embarassed about this like this was all my fault. Hello? I'm the innocent party here Grant kissed me, not the other way around, I didn't ask to be kissed by him so I just responded. Why does everything always have to be my fault ever since I'm involved? I mean you would think they would have at least blamed Grant a little bit given the fact that he's a boy and he threw his arms around his fucking cousin in law or whatever you'd call us and started kissing her and fondling her breasts and privates all over. Grant is NOT the innocent party here, none of us are, we were both caught into an act that we both escalated ourselves. I don't know why my aunt just likes having me as bait for all the problems that goes on in this family or any one of these messed up situations that I'm involved in even if their are two or more other persons being involved in this more than I am.

Just... Fuck this shit. I'm grounded, I'm broke, and I'm not feeling any holiday spirit at the moment. I wish everybody would just Fuck Off!
 
     
fat skunk
 
   
06:00pm 22/11/2005
  Well, I dumped Scott. Finally. I got tired of the bullshit, he was treating me like crap and I was officially allowing it to happen and I never allowed a guy to treat me like crap before, not even my family. It's just never had happened before I met this motherfucker at a boot camp that I shouldn't even had been in. Thanks Aunt Emily, you sure know a decent way how to ruin's a girl's life. I'm just happy that I got to be the one to dump him than when he gets to be the one to dump me and everyone goes ahead and cries wolf about it because a guy who I wouldn't normally like got to dump me, and he's a moron too. I'm starting to wonder what I ever saw in him. He was a great artist yes, but it wasn't like he was that exceptional in bed and he didn't have any money. I don't know why I dated him or called him my boyfriend. I'm starting to feel he was rebound from 'whats-his-name' that I had a crush on before I started dating Scott. Any how its over, I'm happy about that, and I'm single again. Praise the Lord. I was tired of the bullshit.  
     
fat skunk
 
   
07:05pm 03/11/2005
  Oh my fucking shit I don’t even know where to begin. First of all I never manipulated you into thinking that I’d wait to see how long you’d forgive me, to see how long you’d forgive Scott for brawling out your brother’s memory into an argument. I don’t really give a shit if you forgive me or not. I say what I have to say and if you don’t like it, so be it, if you do like it then all the more power to you, you rule. I don’t care. What I did say though was that if you were going to continue talking to Scott and exercising this lifeless cycle of being humiliated or tortured by an unknown alien whom you claim to love and met online three years ago then I’d definitely stop talking to you. You wouldn’t be my friend anymore because I’d be embarrassed for you. I’d feel ashamed. You were/are very pathetic. It was either Scott or me, make your choice, that’s what I said. Because I don’t really associate myself with people like you.

I don’t really give a shit if Scott said you were to die with your brother one million times, or if he said you were to die with your brother once. It doesn’t really matter to me, what does matter however, is that he said it in the first instance and you allowed it or endorsed it to take place once more given the chance of ever speaking to him again and therefore you failed your brother miserably as his sister. You flawed your brother’s memory.

As for saying that I’m a whore or that I'm an expensive whore or whatever, is pretty low and hypocritical given your fat ass fucking and sick history. I don’t fuck guys because I’m easy, I fuck guys because I can, I can daringly get any guy I want and I can use them to what ever magnitude or possibility that you could ever imagine. It’s called a girl’s gift, more like charm. I am Eve. I am Delilah. I am Jezebel. Call it fucking sick or whatever the fuck you want to call it I don't care.

You only fuck guys who use you and push you aside like a crumble of dirt and abuse you and then you come online and try to act all big and tough like you are worth it. News flash honey, you're not. They used you and then they took you for granted which they in turned treated you like crap and you took them too seriously. So seriously that you cried and became all emo and crap. They were not giving you the same undivided attention that you were pouting on them. You’re the nastiest cum sucking slut I have ever met in existence, you don’t even collect money or any compensation or reward for any of the crap that you endure, just humiliations and un-indicted rejections (over and over again). If I were you I'd give up on life. Seriously. You're the brunt of all jokes.
 
     
fat skunk
 
   
05:05pm 08/10/2005
  Alright you're saying that I won't ever amount to something? This coming from you Mandy? You're 17 and you're still in the fucking 9th.. what... 10th grade? You're not even an eleventh grader and I'm doing much better in high school than you could ever be. I have never repeat a grade, I have a more than goudy attendance record, my GPA is over 3.8 average, I take part in more sports than you do, I play a part in community service, I'm affiliated with more than 5 international societies including rotary club and/or interact club, I'm also still a member of the student council and I’m running for class president this year. I mean I don't mean to sound harsh or conceited or anything but lets face it loser I stand a better chance than claiming the prize than little old so-called bi polar you. You are a fucking piece of shit and the scum off my shoe. You make me sick!

Oh wow I’m a heartless, cold bitch and I’m not even a human being. Can’t you come up with something more original than that? I liked you ok? I fucking respected you at one point in time until I realised a ritual in you where you would just add back the guy who treated you like shit even when he told you to go kill yourself (more than many times than the ONE fricking time I told you to go cut your wrists) and he also told you to go die with your brother even though he knows the history that you and your brother have. I mean I don’t know what’s going on here Mandy, you say you love your brother in many entries I’ve read in your journal, you told me that you missed him in our many conversations we have had on AOL or MSN messenger yet, you don’t do anything out of love or devotion to your brother when some stranger from online uses his death as a weapon to blatantly bash you in an insignificant bicker or argument you two may have been foaming. And you sit there and say he doesn’t mean it when he has done it more than one times enough to say “Take a hike!” “Go to hell!” “I don’t need to talk to you anymore” or simply “You’re dead to me.” I try to talk some sense into you from ending this facade, and you say I’m manipulating you and hurting your feelings. I mean... Girl. You have no loyalty to yourself, no loyalty to your family, no loyalty to your friends, no loyalty to Raymond, no loyalty to anyone except for Scott. He could kill your mother and flush her teeth right now in front of you and you’d forgive him the next day because you claim you “love” him. I’m sorry if I don’t grasp your concept but you are a two faced two mouthed piece of shit who constantly contradicts herself with everything she says in 2 months (barring from a row).

By the way you say I have a soul and it will fucking rot? It’s funny to hear something like that coming from you when you claimed to not believe in God or that even spirituality exists, way to demonstrate or legitimise how straight forward and concise you really are. Way to show the world how much of an illiterate confused contrary little bitch that you are and I’m the one that is considered ignorant. Get a life.
 
     
fat skunk
 
   
08:58pm 07/10/2005
  Oh wow. I had the pleasure of reading something on somebody’s livejournal yesterday and I cannot believe you'd say I am pathetic when you're the one pining over some guy on the internet for the past 3 to 4 years like you are a half wit lunatic. You're delusional. A guy who treated you like shit and took you the fuck for granted and insulted your very own dead brother not to mention your race, your entire family, your weight... yeah I'm pathetic. You need a life! Lmfao...

Anyways...

So school has been great so far... back to the normal things in my life I’m feeling so happy these days me and my Scott ... Lmfao. Sometimes I'd curl up in the nights into a ball and just start to think of the many things I like about him, like his hair, his money, his cute laughter, his ultimate boyish-ness, and his artistic ways of expressing things. Yeah, sometimes he'd be like don't you ever wonder how God made the moon and the stars and the sun/clouds in the sky and ever just wonder where God came from and why he made the world as it is? Sometimes when I'm with him my thoughts would be bubbling over for on and on and on until I think I would never stop. I guess it's the way you feel under water when you dive and you feel the water go in the course of your ears and everything turns black and quiet. Like you’re in another world or something, or like you’re dreaming and you can’t feel anything else but the constant warmth or immobility around your eyes or your arms and you feel feeling less. I like the way I feel with Scott. I feel like a pigeon or a bird that would fly for thousands and thousands of miles away that would never stop. Totally enrichment.

Anyways I went shopping today with Neurella and some of my other friends for homecoming shit this October. Then we went to the beach and hung out with Jordan and the rest of his gang. I smoked a joint, which I haven’t done in the past six months. I’m not hoping to start or anything but I just get tempted sometimes especially when I’m stressed out or turned on or something totally upside down like that, or I’d get agitated. Haha, Micah was like so I heard you’re really bisexual and I’m like, no shit. I hear you’re really trisexual, he’s like wtf? Haha, someone told me he kisses his dogs and he does have a boyfriend in San Fernando Valley and his girlfriend Sheah and I are actual best friends. I dunno, she doesn’t really give a shit about it either way.

Jordan’s a cool guy though, I like him. One of the few actual guys that I really like.

Spoke to Chad today...

Chad’s like I really want to fuck you next summer Megan and I said. I really want to fuck you too, we’ve been banking on it for too long. I don’t know. I think I still have feelings for him or something. I’m kinda confused where he is concerned. I’m kinda hoping that a magic genie bottle would tell me exactly what to do where my love life is concerned. My entire life is a mess, and Grant just broke up with his girlfriend Lucy last week. He’s been calling me ever since like I don’t know how to comfort him?
 
     
fat skunk
 
Ok public message bitches   
07:04pm 18/09/2005
  Fuck you Colleen. I fucking hate your guts and everything about your fucked up persona as well. Yeah I slept with your fat ass boyfriend for money cuz guess what I’m a whore right? I’m a goddamn fucking whore you fucking fucked up two faced piece of shit.. Just wait till I get my fucking hands around your fucking neck you ugly fat asshole.. Yeah you think you’re all that when you don’t know a goddamn shit about me all you do is make wrong assumptions and think you are right. You know what Chase said to me the other day while we were at burger king. He said he couldn’t stand your shaking your fat ass to guys who are his friends on that baseball “little league” team of yours because you were making an embarrassment of him as his girlfriend. Did I tell him to tell me that? No. He volunteered that whole information upon himself so you know what? Fuck you... I fucking hate your fat ass too...!  
     
fat skunk
 
First public entry in a long ass time   
07:54pm 04/09/2005
  So I’m back. I just got done/finished talking to Scotty, yeah he’s my new boyfriend or whatever and things are going so good. I met him at the camp I was staying at this summer, we sort of like bumped into each other and started talking. Then we happened to share a group meeting together and he told me his name and I asked him why he’s staying there since its really a camp for kids & teenagers who can’t control themselves or their feelings and happen to lash out and do asinine unthinkable things when their emotions become overload and excessive and fanatical, so I was wondering what he was doing there. Since I was being there actually for that same reason too… I think. Apparently he’s been going to that thing from he was 16, he’s nineteen now and his parents want to send him off to college but he doesn’t want to go for some reason because he wants to become an artist. It’s so fucked up that he’d actually strive to waste his life like that just to spite his parents. But his parents are really fucked up people too. I dunno.. why do people abhor their kids to the point of actually wanting to fuck up themselves and their future in an attempt to fuck up their kids and then blame them afterwards for misbehaving? It’s so fucking stupid and selfish in a way that it makes you want to kill yourself. Anyways, we chatted and we talked, until one night we fucked and then everything started getting personal from then on so that’s when we started dating and he asked me to be his girlfriend this summer and I said yes. So things have been going so cool since he started taking me out and stuff. None of my friends like him because they think he’s weird and he’s goth. He plans on taking me to school on Tuesday on his motorcycle, I’m like no fucking way my aunt would kill me. So we’re planning to meet at the bus station. Hopefully it would be safe enough to travel there.

That’s been the only good thing going on in my life right now. In other news, I ran away for nearly 2 weeks (in July) and got in trouble with the cops for stealing and some other shit pertaining to that. That’s why I was actually at that boot camp thingy or whatever for nearly 5 weeks and my aunt is still contemplating on sending me to military school (like that would ever help) this September. But I told her that I’d just run away from there and then she’d never find me and she’d end up blaming herself if I turned up dead and battened on a deserted road all because of her rancid and impulsive decision to teach me about some fucking “manners.” She’s so fucking annoying these days, I end up wanting to choke her with my coconut so she’d never be able to say another word to me again.

I hate being 14!
 
     
fat skunk
 
   
07:06pm 23/05/2005
  Well, I told Erin off on Saturday because of some shit she heard about her boyfriend Jackson and me (from one of Jackson’s big mouth friends, Akeel or Ramone – I don’t remember), I don't know, and I'm like. So the hell what? We had sex. We fucked. Now - what are you going to do about it? She's like. Go to hell Megan. I’m like, is that all you’ve got? I/we laughed. Cause I really wanted to kick her ass. Right there, and right now. And she’s like, how does it feel to be a fucking slut in someone else’s home state? I’m like, what the fuck? She’s like, that’s what you are Megan, a fucking cunt. You know it. I know it, as well as everybody else at school. So I pushed her, and she started punching, so I started kicking her in the face, and then I grabbed her hair from behind and started squeezing her neck with my right arm. Then some bitch Yvonnia felt that she had to get herself involved in the midst of our mix-up and started throwing some punches at my friend Shennelle since she wanted to put a blow on me and Shennelle prevented that. So, well, a whole bunch of craziness started to evolve after that, and I wasn’t even aware that there was another fight prolonging precisely adjacent to me. There was a lot of kicking and screaming going on around us, and as the fighting grew louder and more attractive, a crowd or vigil formed in the vicinity just to witness and entertain themselves with the excitement. I was so pissed off at that bitch (and Francine) after all the rumors they had intiated about us. Plus just knowing that her friend Valencia wanted Martin all along when we were together, and alongside with that, they’d wanted to get back at me ever since. Disseminating tittle-tattles and anecdotes about me. For going out with Martin. Hence I was really hoping to literally beat the white out of that bitch's bony asses' scrungy face. I really hated her right then and right now, especially since she called me a hoe right on top of it.

But to cut things short, I kicked her ass even though I did sustained some bruises on my cheek and the tip of my tongue was cut. But I did gave her a black eye due from all of the punches I had issued out to her face, and I think, she has a broken nose. I don’t know… It was bleeding a lot when we left, and she wasn’t at school today due to all that (I’m assuming) which took place on Saturday. So I don’t know what’s going on.. But we won.

That bitch Yvonnia is just lucky we didn't get to deal with her case comprehensively, because Nikki and Allison were about to take a chair, and demolish it all over her face, if someone had not intervened, and break up the fights in time. Luckily (for them) none of the bitches that we had fought on Saturday were at school today. They better stay the fuck out, because as God as my witness, I am going to devastate their lives, if they don't stay the fuck out of mine.
 
     
fat skunk